fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
