Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
