We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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