party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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