I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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