I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
