He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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