hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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