This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
as a side note pls kill me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize