so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
