Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
