these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
