Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
