You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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