i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
