yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize