He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
