Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
