My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
