But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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