I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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