I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
