Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
