Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
