We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Let's paint friendship bongs
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
