How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize