dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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