i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
