Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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