Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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