No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
