why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
