my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
nutella sex= disaster
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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