My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
