I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
