Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
