dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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