What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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