When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
