i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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