That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
