Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
