So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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