I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
