I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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