At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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