I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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