It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need moral support for this bender
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
