fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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