I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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