he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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