I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
