sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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