I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
