Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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