Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
