he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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