Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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