why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
